Sometimes you Just have to Have a Biscuit

It's been interesting, starting on this journey of post-fasting, self-actualisation. trying to bring life forwards after decades in a fugue. 

And today was just difficult. 19 days without a cigarette, some difficult news at work, constant heat and humidity, very little sleep.

I'm so chuffed about the new system but it's not perfect, in fact it's still very tricky and it's Tuesday evening and I still have not done my Sunday review, nor planned the week, nor done anything that I would hoped to have done.

And yet I've been productive the whole time.

So this evening I folded, H3 streamed last night and I didn't use it as an unhealthy means of falling asleep, instead reading Anita Moorjani's book about her Near Death Experience.

But this evening? This evening my "Let's Cook" delivery arrived and I was so excited for food boxes and easy meal kits, and the recipes were underwhelming and the ingredients very far past sub-par. So I'm stuck with seven more shitty meals for the week. 

And I think my nicotine receptors are atrophying and I'm cranky, and it is so warm that my entire body has been covered with a film of sweat the entire day.

So I went to the bakery and got this delectable biscuit/cookie with almond and chocolate cream and candied macadamias, and I ate with with about three cups of milky Irish tea and without a shred of guilt.

And I've spent at least the last two hours catching up on H3 and not doing anything more productive than drinking tea and listening to the podcast, in fact I'm also watching it, to make this time doubly unproductive.

But this is my real off-the-cuff piece for my new website, and it's an ignoble one. And that seems fitting. I'm going to try and finish the evening questions, then do some expressive writing, then fall asleep with Moorjani again, even though her style annoys me. Because everything annoys me. 

Because I think I want a cigarette. No I know, I want a cigarette, but I think that this urge is creating rather rancorous levels of irritability to overlay my vista on the world.

So hello to my first real piece here, hello to the photograph of deliciousness, and goodnight cruel world. It's 21:30, and I'm still going to try to write some more.

Till soon. (Stay out of my way)